Sometimes I think

to fictionize myself

as that trendy girl

making my life

little bit daedal

little bit elemental

sometimes I feel

to vomit out complexity

believing mystery is what

you love to solve.

The inquisitive mystery in

my vibrant lipstick

my blackish mascara

or the pinkish blusher.

with me in salacious dress.

Sometimes my heart

makes me to believe

innocence can never

give birth to mystery.

Simplicity cannot shout

for it is always confined

in some rigid walls of mind.

May be I hold somewhere

some misleading, absurd,

foolish and adulterated

definition of ‘innocence’ and ’simplicity’.

Everyone shouted

to change, to adapt to be a

pixyish, whimsical woman.

I tried and grossed out

“I have to change to get love”

But that was not easy

not because

my trail was not vigorous

but because

I have started to think

“How I will hold the end?”

They can make me to learn

the game rules

and how to play

creating mysterious mystery.

But I am the only one

to end the game.

For I always feared void, end,

the end - beginning of nothingness.

For I always love to play the game

with my heart and my soul. 

I will be the loser

in both the ways. 

Sometimes I think,

If I give my hand to you,

You will surely hold it

not because you want to hold it for life

but because you want to help me

to cross the road.

Sometimes I wonder

‘crossing the road’ is

far better and simpler

than creating the mystery to seize you!

~nidhi

Inspired by this poster entitled ,"I HAVE ARRIVED" which I found luckily on the web.

Unknown hope perspires

in the state of abeyance

holding an empty echo

of the song sung by my soul long back

One day If I can remember the words

then I will shout to the world,

“I HAVE ARRIVED”.

Lifeless shadow lingers

besides my body quiescently

giving out the mysterious power

of birth of nirvana from my barren womb

One day If I can make the shadow to breathe

then I will shout to the world,

“I HAVE ARRIVED”.

Anesthetic dreams dwell

infront of eyes as heavenly holy mortuary

turning my soul into immortal phoenix

bridging me to the buried mystic power

One day If I need not give reason to awake my dreams

then I will shout to the world,

“I HAVE ARRIVED”.

~nidhi

I am thinking what can be the extreme limit for the stongest person to break down? Why we take for granted that the other person has infinite energy and nothing can blow him/her? Stones also need love, life dwell there also. Where is the joy more……..in gving or in receiving with gratefulness? Giving only doesn’t accomplish us. Deep down inside, we want to receive - an unknown gift for which unknowlingly we are waiting from unknown time ! Relationship is nothing but infinite continuation of giving and receiving! Some lines came in my mind……….

A desire has befallen from my heart to make me insane,

A desire to have your love, care and everything of yours!

I am telling my soul to haunt my body and to make it weak,

Make my body an impediment one who cries for love

I want to see a step of yours towards my soul

For I know the cries of my body can only melt your frozen heart!

I am telling my eyes not to twinkle with every moment of life

But I am pressing my eyelids so hard in the hope of a tear,

I want to see upcoming of your hands towards my eyes

For I know my smile cannot make you understand who am I!

It has been very long, since I am pretending myself as tough

A heart which can endure every draconian word thrown on it

A smile which has the power to turn every misery into celebration

Now, I want to see joy in receiving rather than in giving!

May be sporadic renewals of my cries can lay stone in your way,

Stepping on which can make you to touch the horizon of my soul!

~nidhi

Thanks Dyse DysonianEyesso much for your love and affection. You have painted a rainbow making my life to be filled with colorful thoughts. I so much adore your comment. The poem is answering all my questions. Thanks so much! Really I don't have words to describe this feeling!

This is the poem that she handed back to me.....

I don't have much to share here.  A sort of drought has come in my mind and I am waiting for the rain of thoughts. Meanwhile, this is the extract that I posted in my another blog. Many questions are there in my mind about soulmates and lovers and to get somewhat better pictutre I have put down some words......

I used to always think that soulmates are your lovers only and whoever will be my lifepartner will also be my soulmate that God has chosen for me. But sometimes deep down my heart used to ping me that it could be wrong. Still, I am not clear about exact difference between the lover and soulmate. But yesterday in the tarot class M threw some light on this. She told soulmates and lovers are different. It is not necessary that your lover will also be your soulmate. And  when I told her I want my lifepartner to be my soulmate, she told that my soulamte is a woman, but she has no clue about her. I have to wait till the time when my soulmate will be revealed to me. For me the best thing is ’sharing’. I need to share what I think, how I feel and this is the way to make my mind free. Good, that I came in Blog World.

According to her, soulmates can be any person with whom your soul feels a sense of completeness, any person who can know the silence of your heart and everytime when you talk or think about him/her, there is nothing that you can expect. All your life will be fully satisfied. In love, it may happen that you will be happy with that person but deep down in your soul, in your heart, there will be something that you will miss. Many times it will flash in your heart, but may be you will think that my partner is giving me everything and may be it is bad to divert my mind on something. There can be dissatisfaction with your lover but not with your soulmate. There is pleasure with your lover and happiness with your soulmate.

There is a reason for every event and for every person who is coming in your life. But no need to make your life a mess thinking about reason for every single person with whom you have met. Life will show you the reason and may be unknowlingly that time, you will just walk away. Events and persons do transform us. It may happen that you have promised or talked about something in your previous birth and now in this birth you both are meeting to accomplish that promise and to fulfill any objective.

Out of curosity, I thought of searching on web if I could get something. Most of the pages talk about love only. And some of the pages describe how to search for your soulmate? Do we need to search? No, never………..I believe this task is of God, let God do this thing afterall God is the best decision maker for us.

Web says, “there is no doubt that somewhere, possibly in the deepest recesses of our heart, we are all looking for a person who will make us feel complete. It could be your spouse, parent, sibling, friend, guru, boss or even your pet dog”.

This is among many of the definitions that I like.

“A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are…"

“Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.”