ReachOutToHeaven's Xanga

FREEFALL

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 04:12:43 GMT

thousand faces

hidden behind

those clouds

fluttering heart

is echoing love

to soar desires

for a glimpse

of a pilgrimage voyage

alone in sea of past

to flee an angel message

thrashed somewhere

in redundant earthy needs

just to welcome unknowingly

- a freefall from heaven above!

~ nidhi

CRYPTIC DILEMMA

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 03:22:36 GMT

I begged whole night

thinking

how much I need to cry,

to create a flow

to carry his hopes

from asylum of dead desires

to elysian of lively passions.

I begged whole night

telling him

I am a very weak soul

for he sees my vitality of tears

and not frailty of my abundant smile.

I begged whole night

making him to realize

how it feels

to see melting of snow….

how it feels when

tears drop without a reason….

I begged whole night

till day dawned with cloud

till my eyes dried without lashes

till my lips stitched with umbilical cord

till my mouth is puffed with ashes…….

I begged and I crawled

into his lap only for shelter….

covering my body and soul

meditatively with cushion of a thought

- May be the artist of mannequin

knows better about her

rather than

what mannequin thinks about herself.

~nidhi

WHY ARE PROMISES MADE?

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 06:30:51 GMT

Why are promises made? Why we need to give assurance for the future to someone? Does it not create some sort of obligation, some binding in the relationship? Why don’t we just go and give all the feelings to the relationship in such a way that both the sides know some silent, unsaid promises will always be kept. Promises have captured such an important part of our life, infact I am feeling that the foundation of all the pious relationship starts with ‘promises’.

I see myself in mirage of your promises

rather than in mirror which you hold.

Why are promises made?

Has the sky also promised mother

to shower rain,

light the night with stars and moon?

Has the air also promised the leaves

for thrilling life,

unending growth and balmy love?

May be yes,

May be a promise made in silence!

Why are promises made?

Why enigma spirals around my life

And you need to give me

derision binding with some subtle words

languid in falseness.

I collect your warm raindrop promises

on my palm, hiding it from sun

But with a fear when barren will appear,

these raindrops will turn vultures

gashing every portion of my soul.

I can’t see now ladder of your promises

but derision binding of my expectations.

Why are promises made?

You always draw love aroma by promises

Assuring me that you are always by my side

You are just a treacherous hunter, hunting my dreams

Please, don’t bind me….

Even I know you are just bystander

But I love to hear your words,

these falseness, meaningless

even when I know they are metaphors, fairy tales!

I love when you captivate me within promise bars

and I love to shout, “Why are promises made?”

~nidhi

SOMETIMES I THINK, BELIEVE AND WONDER...

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 01:43:05 GMT

Sometimes I think

to fictionize myself

as that trendy girl

making my life

little bit daedal

little bit elemental

sometimes I feel

to vomit out complexity

believing mystery is what

you love to solve.

The inquisitive mystery in

my vibrant lipstick

my blackish mascara

or the pinkish blusher.

with me in salacious dress.

Sometimes my heart

makes me to believe

innocence can never

give birth to mystery.

Simplicity cannot shout

for it is always confined

in some rigid walls of mind.

May be I hold somewhere

some misleading, absurd,

foolish and adulterated

definition of ‘innocence’ and ’simplicity’.

Everyone shouted

to change, to adapt to be a

pixyish, whimsical woman.

I tried and grossed out

“I have to change to get love”

But that was not easy

not because

my trail was not vigorous

but because

I have started to think

“How I will hold the end?”

They can make me to learn

the game rules

and how to play

creating mysterious mystery.

But I am the only one

to end the game.

For I always feared void, end,

the end - beginning of nothingness.

For I always love to play the game

with my heart and my soul.

I will be the loser

in both the ways.

Sometimes I think,

If I give my hand to you,

You will surely hold it

not because you want to hold it for life

but because you want to help me

to cross the road.

Sometimes I wonder

‘crossing the road’ is

far better and simpler

than creating the mystery to seize you!

~nidhi

LUST WITH DEAD HOPE

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:21:23 GMT

A salty hope

admixed with sparkling smile

coming out from mind of diversion

Seemly gesture given to the sunset

To welcome night of totality.

A salty moment

admixed with mysterious rollickingness

coming out from mind of mystery

Freakish behavior given to love

To welcome blizzard of perplexity.

A salty touch

admixed with insensate solace

coming out from salacious ambiance

Rueful plight given to this enigma

To welcome some unkown dead hope.

~nidhi

I HAVE ARRIVED

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:08:47 GMT

Inspired by this poster entitled ,"I HAVE ARRIVED" which I found luckily on the web.

Unknown hope perspires

in the state of abeyance

holding an empty echo

of the song sung by my soul long back

One day If I can remember the words

then I will shout to the world,

“I HAVE ARRIVED”.

Lifeless shadow lingers

besides my body quiescently

giving out the mysterious power

of birth of nirvana from my barren womb

One day If I can make the shadow to breathe

then I will shout to the world,

“I HAVE ARRIVED”.

Anesthetic dreams dwell

infront of eyes as heavenly holy mortuary

turning my soul into immortal phoenix

bridging me to the buried mystic power

One day If I need not give reason to awake my dreams

then I will shout to the world,

“I HAVE ARRIVED”.

~nidhi

UNKNOWN BLESSINGS!

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 05:48:34 GMT

Blessings do come from some unknown cause. Why my mind is always suspicious of ‘unknown’? Are my senses enough to transform this unknown to some known? Why can’t I let my heart to fly, to trust and to believe that blessings are coming from some unseen stars in the dark night. Why I fear change, as if change is meant for my doom only!

All these thoughts propelled me to write down these words………..

Unknown line in my palm,

Emanated from some unknown velleity,

A longing pierced my heart,

fear spurred some unfelt blow,

- a fear

from many unrealized cracks of my life,

from a leaf forgotten to be blown in autumn

from a tear hidden in every smile.

I closed my palm tightly,

to keep a secret with myself only,

Secret of a line with a doubt of unknown treasure or curse!

An anonymous moment once,

made me to open to see my delusive hope

I saw a deep dark euphoria under my skin.

A bridge from my heart to my life line,

Nexus spurred some unfelt feeling,

-a nexus

from many unseen stars in the night sky,

from a kernel left by autumn deep in softness of soil

from an angel rising from the ashes of unknown blessings!

JOY IN RECEIVING

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 01:56:17 GMT

I am thinking what can be the extreme limit for the stongest person to break down? Why we take for granted that the other person has infinite energy and nothing can blow him/her? Stones also need love, life dwell there also. Where is the joy more……..in gving or in receiving with gratefulness? Giving only doesn’t accomplish us. Deep down inside, we want to receive - an unknown gift for which unknowlingly we are waiting from unknown time ! Relationship is nothing but infinite continuation of giving and receiving! Some lines came in my mind……….

A desire has befallen from my heart to make me insane,

A desire to have your love, care and everything of yours!

I am telling my soul to haunt my body and to make it weak,

Make my body an impediment one who cries for love

I want to see a step of yours towards my soul

For I know the cries of my body can only melt your frozen heart!

I am telling my eyes not to twinkle with every moment of life

But I am pressing my eyelids so hard in the hope of a tear,

I want to see upcoming of your hands towards my eyes

For I know my smile cannot make you understand who am I!

It has been very long, since I am pretending myself as tough

A heart which can endure every draconian word thrown on it

A smile which has the power to turn every misery into celebration

Now, I want to see joy in receiving rather than in giving!

May be sporadic renewals of my cries can lay stone in your way,

Stepping on which can make you to touch the horizon of my soul!

~nidhi

Thanks Dyse DysonianEyesso much for your love and affection. You have painted a rainbow making my life to be filled with colorful thoughts. I so much adore your comment. The poem is answering all my questions. Thanks so much! Really I don't have words to describe this feeling!

This is the poem that she handed back to me.....

A desire has befallen from my heart to make me insane

I honor the honesty with in thee!

A desire to have your love, care and everything of yours

Would that I could fullfill these dreams of yours for your joy alone

I look into your heart and see You..let me cradle You in mine own until thou art fullfulled

Come child rise above the body to recieve All there is

Behold I step forward to thee Now

warmth in love warms even the coolest of stone

How deep your need precious soul..to deprive your self thus

Even stones have been know to weep. Rest in peace and the tears shall flow easily

My fingers raise to catch your tear drops each a percious treasure

Perhaps you are wrong and I can see the sorrow behind the smile always?

Then be fragile little one allow your self to be protected by other

no heart needs be so hard ...stones crack ..and break ..smiles soften and linger

Yet celebration without love needed is empty is it not

Open your heart and mind and recieve the fountain is eternal..Recieve

Each pebble catches my eye and as ever I stoop to put in to my bag with care

Stepping on which can make you to touch the horizon of my soul!

I hold up the sparkiing stone of song

And look far into Your Horizon seeing more than you ever imagined I might.

I press my sole gently upon your soul and in the meeting healing begins

~Dyse

SUBLIMEWRITER'S (Grace) BLOG

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:36:25 GMT

I had talked about Grace (www.xanga.com/sublimewriter) in one of my post. I was not clear as to why she had closed her blog. Few days back, like this only, without asking any question she replied. Her words.......

"The reason why I didn't keep up my xanga was because I had really bad tendonitis and faced
the possibility of my mom having cancer and my grandma having Alzheimer's".

The best thing happened in her life is that she has come up with her book. Her words........

For now, I have listed my book on a public domain, because of popular demand.
It will take about three months to appear on Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble,
because I am still waiting for a copy to come back to me
to approve the printing job. I wanted to give everyone a chance to read it and give them a best friend, and the PDF is free.

If people buy the printed copy and I accumulate enough, I plan to donate to World Vision or
a breast cancer foundation and do it in their name. That might take a while, because I make roughly a $1 a printed copy (the donation)
plus manufacturing and printing costs. I will change the cover.

http://www.lulu.com/content/2595669

If anyone is intersted to have a copy, please message me. She will be very delighted to know this!

Thanks to all of you, for your love and affection!

SOULMATES AND LOVERS

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 04:53:30 GMT

I don't have much to share here. A sort of drought has come in my mind and I am waiting for the rain of thoughts. Meanwhile, this is the extract that I posted in my another blog. Many questions are there in my mind about soulmates and lovers and to get somewhat better pictutre I have put down some words......

I used to always think that soulmates are your lovers only and whoever will be my lifepartner will also be my soulmate that God has chosen for me. But sometimes deep down my heart used to ping me that it could be wrong. Still, I am not clear about exact difference between the lover and soulmate. But yesterday in the tarot class M threw some light on this. She told soulmates and lovers are different. It is not necessary that your lover will also be your soulmate. And when I told her I want my lifepartner to be my soulmate, she told that my soulamte is a woman, but she has no clue about her. I have to wait till the time when my soulmate will be revealed to me. For me the best thing is ’sharing’. I need to share what I think, how I feel and this is the way to make my mind free. Good, that I came in Blog World.

According to her, soulmates can be any person with whom your soul feels a sense of completeness, any person who can know the silence of your heart and everytime when you talk or think about him/her, there is nothing that you can expect. All your life will be fully satisfied. In love, it may happen that you will be happy with that person but deep down in your soul, in your heart, there will be something that you will miss. Many times it will flash in your heart, but may be you will think that my partner is giving me everything and may be it is bad to divert my mind on something. There can be dissatisfaction with your lover but not with your soulmate. There is pleasure with your lover and happiness with your soulmate.

There is a reason for every event and for every person who is coming in your life. But no need to make your life a mess thinking about reason for every single person with whom you have met. Life will show you the reason and may be unknowlingly that time, you will just walk away. Events and persons do transform us. It may happen that you have promised or talked about something in your previous birth and now in this birth you both are meeting to accomplish that promise and to fulfill any objective.

Out of curosity, I thought of searching on web if I could get something. Most of the pages talk about love only. And some of the pages describe how to search for your soulmate? Do we need to search? No, never………..I believe this task is of God, let God do this thing afterall God is the best decision maker for us.

Web says, “there is no doubt that somewhere, possibly in the deepest recesses of our heart, we are all looking for a person who will make us feel complete. It could be your spouse, parent, sibling, friend, guru, boss or even your pet dog”.

This is among many of the definitions that I like.

“A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are…"

“Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.”